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02/22 Applesauce – it’s your b-earth-day!

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Hi baby girl – my saucers –

Another year, another special day to remember all that you were.  Not a day goes by that you’re not on my mind in one fashion or another.  Pictures trigger memories, feelings, the highs, the lows.  But most of all, your spirit and your beautiful soul.

Yes, this year Kiwi (sauce) is taking up my time – she’s a sassy handful for sure.  I know you sent her – although did you have to send such a challenge?  She’s a sweet fruit tart – but man, her sass is strong.  As are her teeth and her bite.   I often call her Applesauce without thinking – but I know you know that.  She’s a bit of you – and while I complain about her biting and mouthing – I was reminded by your girl, that we often called you Applegator because of your own biting games.

Kiwi's birthday - but your crown
Kiwi’s birthday – but your crown

I wish you were here to teach her the ropes.  She loves the water as you did – and due to a freak accident already broke her leg and now we’re back at Holistic doing hydrotherapy.  The smell of the water takes me back to you 0-60 and I just bury my face in her fur and remember all our rehab days.  She’s not quite as graceful as you were – but she’s young.  I know you’re her guardian angel – so you know your work is cut out for you – ha!

your old stomping grounds at Holistic Vet
Kiwi following in your hydrotherapy footsteps

Oh sweet saucers, I miss you, my girl.  As Elvis sang so eloquently, “i can’t help falling in love with you” and I do every day as I remember how amazing and how special you were.  It wasn’t about losing the leg, or the eye, or the challenges that went with this, your warrior spirit and tenacity prevailed overall and I hang on to that daily.

My Heart
My Heart

Celebrating you my baby girl – my snarky saucer butters.  You would be 15 today – 2/22/22 – special numbers for a special girl.

Forever in my heart

Pure Applesauce <3

02/22/07 – 11/17/18


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I’m Still the Boss, I’m Applesauce

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Pure Applesauce <3

Dear Mom,

I know you’ve been struggling with this anniversary and I have watched you ponder on what you could write today, so I’m taking it out of your hands.  I am still the boss, after all.

I know this night 3 years ago was the hardest that either one of us endured together.  But you were brave.  And I know you would have moved heaven and earth for things to be different – but guess what – now I get to move heaven and earth, so to speak (I promise, no earthquakes will be at my paws).  The Universe and I have a very strong bond.  Like we do.

Dancing with Mom

I know you’ve been super lonely without me.  Yes, Dora is there, but we know she’s not the same as me.  Cats – I mean, what more is there to say?  Especially that quirky feline.

I know you know I conspired with the Universe back in January.  I decided it was time for you to open your heart up again and I knew you wouldn’t do it on your own.  Do you know what it took to align this plan?  To find a little pup who was a golden (ok, half), same color, and special needs?  I mean I only had one good eye and three legs the last couple years – but I brought you one with one nostril – I didn’t want it to be too similar.  And to top it off I made sure it was named after a fruit – because then I knew you wouldn’t / couldn’t resist.  You’re welcome.  Kiwi became your new focus.

faces of baby Kiwi
puppy Kiwi
Baby Applesauce

I know it’s been a rough few months with her – puppies – i mean need I say more?  They’re cute, but they’re puppies – and because she did not grow up with her siblings or mama, she was (is) extra.  But I knew you were up to the task.  I know you doubt yourself often, but hey, who knows you better than me?  I know she tries your patience every minute and I know you’ve kept that protective coating around your heart, but I see it melting a little.  Keep doing what you’re doing.

puppy Kiwi
puppy Kiwi
Snarky puppy Applesauce

I know I made sure she was a little like me, enough to warm your heart, but enough to be her own dog.  I know she will carry on our legacy, but no one will ever replace what we have.

Kiwi pool side
Kiwi’s favorite place
Applesauce pool side
Applesauce’s favorite place
Kiwi - first beach trip
Kiwi’s first beach trip
Applesauce’s first beach trip

I know these anniversaries are hard for you – but we both know I’m not far away.   Look through our pictures and remember all our laughs and good times and the love most of all – we had the best love.

I know when the time is right, we’ll be back together, but in the meantime, you have life to live and Kiwi to love and my legacy to keep alive.  You got this mom.

Kiwi
Kiwi – 9.5 months
Applesauce

I know my first breath wasn’t with you, but my last breath was and that created the shimmering thread that binds us forever between our worlds.

My Heart
My Heart

I love you mom and I know your heart is made of pure applesauce – and now with a side of Kiwi.  (sassy sweet-tart, she is)

Applesauce

Forever and always ❤️🍎🐾

Applesauce  2/22/07 – 11/17/18

Angel wings

 

Happy B-earth-day Applesauce

Happy Birthday Applesauce!
Happy Birthday!

14 years ago the Universe deemed this feisty red-headed spirit had a purpose on earth. She was born on February 22, 2007 – one of a litter of 6. She was the only red, a big feisty pup. Eightish weeks later she began her journey to capture my heart and soul and she did it without me even realizing what she was doing. She filled a void that I didn’t even realize was there – full of unconditional love, snark, comedy and so much more.

my first day as a physical being

(i’m the big red one right in front) 

Baby Applesauce
Snarky puppy

She was usually a happy girl (but she had a strong snark and was stubborn as could be when she wanted to be) She loved people (with the exception of a couple), especially HER people,  other dogs, car rides, swimming, walks, a good stick,  happy dancing, new toys, old reliable babies, treats, hugs and snuggles, and a good nap.  

Dancing with Mom
Aquasauce

Our goal in her later years was for her to be trained to be a therapy dog as she naturally gravitated towards those she knew that needed that extra rub, lick, paw placement. Unfortunately, during this process, her own health issues cropped up – first with a nasty case of glaucoma which took months (and an insane course of drops and meds), when finally a switch of doctors (thankfully) ended all that and we did an eye ablation.  So she couldn’t see out of that eye but looked as beautiful as ever).  Add in a couple of oral hematomas just for fun too.   However, just when we thought we were out of the woods, Feb 1 2017, fate struck again with the osteosarcoma diagnosis and throw in a side of malignant melanoma under her tongue, because why not?  

Tripawd


Ever the warrior, she was resilient in her efforts to fight her battle and did it with grace and undying spirit. She was my guiding light, my source of strength and inspiration to fight on her behalf.   Almost 3 months after diagnosis, amputation was the lightswitch that gave her a new “leash” on life. Her gifts to give were my lessons to learn and that continues to this day. 

Happy Birthday!
an Applesauce toast! (these were the staff at Holistic Vet Center toasting Applesauce’s memory – she was a favorite there!)

She may have left physically in November 2018, but her spirit has remained and is stronger than ever. Her goal to becoming a therapy dog came to fruition in the spiritual world as she has befriended another golden in Michigan. She never met this dog physically, but the signs and situations that have occurred cannot be explained as coincidence or imagination. More on that story to come. But it’s fact that she does have a charge by the name of Easy in Michigan (who is a therapy dog herself). We know when she’s there and we know when she’s home.

My beautiful butterflysauce
Easy (sporting her apples bandana)
Easy with Applesauce’s butterfly wings

We also know she’s currently involved in another project here – time will tell soon on that outcome. She’s always in cahoots with the Universe. Typical Applesauce.  

Pure Applesauce <3

Applesauce is and will always be my heart dog. I miss her more than words can describe and I talk to her every day. So today, we will celebrate her being, her gifts, and her lessons. Happy B-earth-day my silly Saucers. #shelivedherbestlife 

My Heart
My Heart

Applesauce 02/22/07 – 11/17/18 ❤🍎🐾

Applesauce Angelversary

Hi – it’s me, Applesauce.

It’s the eve of my second angelversary and I figured I’d step in for mom – cause I know she’s having a hard time.   She misses me so much and I miss her, although I come visit her often.    It’s not the same for sure.  We had so many good times over the years and I know she would have moved heaven and earth to give us more time together.   I have so many stories over the 11, almost 12 years we were together, but just thought I’d share a few special moments & thoughts tonight.

We loved music.  She always had music on and we would always dance.  She would start and I would dance with her.  And she always liked my happy dance (which I usually did so I could get a treat). “Oh, that’s a happy dancing puppy,” she’d say.  “That’s a beautiful happy dance!” I even danced on 3 paws!  Go me!

She always sang to me – one of her favorites was Elvis’s Can’t Stop Falling In Love with You.  I’m not sure she knew all the words, (I think she made some of them up, to be honest), but she would hold my paw and sing (she will say she can’t sing, but I thought it was the most beautiful).

♫ “Wise men say
Only fools rush in
But I can’t help falling in love with you
Shall I stay?
Would it be a sin
If I can’t help falling in love with you?
Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand (paw)
Take my whole life too
For I can’t help falling in love with you” ♫

Every morning as long as I can remember the first thing in the morning, she’d say “i’m so happy to see you today!” and she would rub my head and my belly and give me a quick massage or lie down next to me and talk to me.  I miss those snuggle times – and it was always the best way to start the day.  She would agree.  (One of the downsides of the amputation was not getting up on the bed anymore because she didn’t want me jumping off without her knowing and hurt my other leg or my hips more, so I slept on the floor at the end of her bed.  She would often lie there with me as well if she needed some extra TLC. )

As the end was getting close, she sang to me more often, but we didn’t dance as much.  I know the last couple of weeks I really slowed down fast.  She would still love on me and wash my face and sing to me and tell me I was the most beautiful girl in the world.   I was tired but she didn’t push me – she told me I could leave this broken body, but the time just wasn’t right until that last night.   We nested in the living room because I was having a really hard night.

Neither one of us slept much because we both knew this would be our last night together.  The next morning she told me she was very happy to see me and she washed my face with warm water like always and sang to me.  I was pretty weak but I managed to put my paw on her arm for a second.  Then she got up and made the phone call.  She was super upset and she sat back down with me.  I knew now because she was ready, that I was free to leave this body and move on to my next journey.  It served me well, this body, but it was time.  It was so hard to leave her, but I knew she wouldn’t have it any other way.   And so I left so she – we didn’t have to suffer anymore.  As hard as it was, it was easier to go this way and it was just me and her.   I left naturally and organically and touching my mom.    I did it my way. ❤️🍎🐾

♫ “And now the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I’ll say it clear
I’ll state my case of which I’m certain
I’ve lived a life that’s full
I’ve traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way” ♫
02/22/07 – 11/17/18
I know she carries me in her heart and soul and spirit every minute of every day.   We talk every day, we laugh, we cry (well she cries), she even took my collar to the beach yesterday and did a virtual 5K to help raise money for canine cancer – that was fun.    I wish I could have stayed physically with her forever.  Cause I know when she loves, she loves hard.   I am a lucky girl.
“Death is the starlit strip between the companionship of yesterday and the reunion of tomorrow.” ~ Mark Twain
Tomorrow – November 17th, I know my mom will be sad and hurting, but I know she would do it all again in a heartbeat for me.  Until we meet again physically, we will always be together spiritually.     And we’ll keep on dancing always.
“Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I’d of had to miss the dance” ♫
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